Sex Education Blunder...

Ok, so I came across the following picture while I was planning my next wedding and decorating my nursery on Pinterest... 

and the realisation hit my like a brick. My sex education teacher was misinformed. The school taught us wrong. A room of 30 teenagers and every single one of us had been given the incorrect sex talk. 

My teacher told us in a whirlwind of a lesson that we were not to have sex, not to kiss, not to even look at a member of the opposite sex because we WILL get pregnant. 

Hmmmf. Perhaps I should go and ask him where my baby is. 

Alright, so I will climb down off of my horse, and accept that it is important for teens to be aware of the dangers of unprotected sex, however am I the only one that had no idea that infertility even existed? 

No-one explained to me that we have a fertile window, that you have to time your lovely time. Imagine my great surprise when I came off the pill and one year later I still had no bump. I was gobsmacked when I found out that some people can't just get pregnant. 

Just a quick note to any young ones reading... it really is important to use protection, as there are many many people who find conception easy, and the chances of you having fertility issues can be very slim... 

What does everyone think? Should schools also cover infertility? Should people be more educated on how difficult it can be? Comments below ... oh and my follower is rather lonely on her own...please join us!

Floating around in my bubble..

Ok, so it happened. It was only a matter of time. I am planning my nursery. I am planning what my baby will wear. The pram I will push. The bottles I will keep on standby if I need to use them. The baby bouncer for my lounge. I could go on. 

My internet history is made up of visits to Mothercare, Kiddicare, Asda, Tesco, Mamas and Papas, Toys R Us..... again, I could go on. 

Then something occurred to me. My head has been spinning with my entire motherhood future, but I can't share it with anyone. 

I have thought about names, picked up clothes in the supermarket, asked the hubby which bibs he like... but how do I stop people thinking that I have lost my mind in some kind of baby oblivion? 

I keep it to myself, I have jumped into a bubble and I cannot let anyone in. 

Hubby asked me what was wrong, as I have been quiet lately. I tried to explain ... 

The day someone finds out they are pregnant they are ecstatic (most of the time) and start planning. They pick out clothes, decorate the nursery, choose names, have hour long discussions about the different types of parenting styles, they surf the internet, they go baby shopping, they share their news and they plan their future. 
My pregnancy journey started 3 and a half years ago. I may not be pregnant yet, but I had planned to be back in 2010. I feel the same as other mums to be, I am excited to do all these things, but when reality beckons, my uterus is empty. All I feel are the few pangs of AF every month. Everyone will think I am crazy to want to constantly talk about all my ideas for my pregnancy and how I will dress my newborn. So I stay quiet, fantasize in my own bubble, and don't share my desire with anyone. That is why I am quiet. 

So, like many other lovely coupes, we are stuck in a bubble. Other people cannot share my excitement, because they don't understand my excitement. They tell me, you can worry about that when the time comes, or there will be new stock when you are pregnant. 

Am I crazy to want to have a day out with Hubby in Mothercare or Kiddicare? 

Actually....don't answer that! Who else has a bubble?

Sunday Silliness..

So today I will just leave you with this silly picture! It made me smile! Can we hope for a special delivery now that you stork has been caught??

Happy Sunday! 

From the mouths of idiots...

(Clearly, no offence to idiots intended!!)

OK, so over the weekend, a fairly close family member said quite an insensitive thing regarding our lack of fertility. We brushed it off, that side of the family are quite mean anyway... but it made me think of all the other things people say (probably to try and make it seem better) but end up digging big holes... 

So I though i'd share them! Please, please, please feel free to comment with your own silly comments that you have heard! 

So starting with the most recent... 

• "Well, why don't you just go out and sleep with someone, get pregnant, and then there will be no IVF costs."  (Yes, seriously, she said it twice, in front of my poor husband!)

• "At least you don't have to wear condoms now." (Can't you tell, I'm really excited about this one!)

• Now you can just enjoy sex... (because baby making is just so awful!)

• "Wouldn't it be easier to just find someone else?" (Yea, nice, thanks!)

• "Oh, yea, I've got other friends that are firing blanks" (Tactful!)

• "Maybe you could just buy a baby!" (Haha, that's funny!)

• "At least you won't need to go through awful pregnancy!" (Oh, yea, hadn't thought of that!)

• "Can't you just buy some swimmers off the internet?" (Nice!)

• "You don't have to have children, I have had three, but I would have been more than happy without any" (try saying that when you don't have any!)

So what lovely statements have you had? 

I understand that unless you have been through it, it is difficult to understand. But surely when common sense is involved... we can laugh them off, but at the time it hurts. 

I know we will get there, without being unfaithful, without buying my baby, without just buying some strangers swimmers. I don't need to find anyone else, I love my husband, and will go through an awful pregnancy and put up with these bloomin' awful comments, and at the end, we will be holding our precious bundle! 

Heartbreak Central...

I asked for Celine Dion's new album, Loved me back to life, for Christmas. On Christmas day, under the tree, was my new album. Eeek! 

We all know that we listen to the songs we know first, and it takes a while to get to know the others! Well, I was driving home last night, singing my heart out to my new found songs. I'd not long started my journey, when a song I hadn't heard started. It was less than a minute in and I was sobbing... 

After coming home, yes, after having it on repeat all the way home. I did some research into the song. 

It was written by a husband and wife songwriter duo. They were inspired by a documentary that Celine did on the OWN Network, where she talked about her struggle to conceive. She underwent 2 operations to improve her fertility, and then went on to have In-Vitro Fertilisation. Her son Rene-Charles was born in 2001. Her twins, Nelson and Eddy were born in 2010, after her sixth In-Vitro Fertilisation. 

So, as you can imagine, the words and now the meaning of this song, is giving me shivers. It was a pretty stressful day yesterday, and hearing this on the way home, back to my husband, made me remember what my goal is... what is really important. 

Here is the link to the song...you need to listen! Always be your Girl - Celine Dion

Oh, and in other news...I managed to rack up a £2,500 basket on the Mothercare website. Ooops. Hubby just laughed at me. I guess I should start paying it off now! 

Popping in..

A funny couple of days...

I have a job! After my last job recently ended, I have managed to find another! Yay! I have never been great at working... I work hard, I do my job plus more, but have never 'enjoyed' work. People would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be a mummy. Obviously, people smiled, thinking that's what every girl wants. Not everyone 'got' it. I think my mum held her breath all the way through my teenage years, just waiting for me to come and tell her I was pregnant. I didn't though. I knew when I had my baby, I had to be able to support it.

I feel good about this job. I feel like I will enjoy it. I am doing it for my baby.

A friends family member has just had her baby... it's great, I am pleased for her. I have congratulated the family. However, I am not sure I personally need 2 messages and a Facebook feed of comments. Free world I guess. Said friend actually said not long ago, ''Oh, ha, I might actually be pregnant before you then''

Yea, cheers for the sensitivity! It's funny, I automatically detach myself from people - is this an infertility thing?

I am a very impatient person, I have been patient. I have waited 3 years to get that line. To feel that elation that all other mums feel. I want to wake up and see April.

Maybe I shall go into hibernation....

What's crazy, is that, out there, there is so many people who share exactly the same feelings... however we never seem to meet anyone in real life. So many people hurt on their own... I'm sharing the love... sending hugs to you all ...we will get our miracles.