Happy New Year!

Whilst the music is playing (4 music on Sky) and the lights are flashing (on the Christmas tree) and the drinks are flowing (Pepsi...but it is in a wine glass!) I am reminiscing over the past 12 months.

It has been a hard year, and I am looking forward to seeing what 2014 has in store for us. 

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all a ver Happy New Year! Hope all your hopes and dreams come true. 

Our first appointment...

We had our letter through in October. After filling in countless forms and signing our life away, we took ourselves to our clinic to meet our consultant. Saying that fills me with so many different emotions. OUR CONSULTANT. After 3 years, we were finally going somewhere. 

The letter told us to expect blood tests and internal scans. We got prepared. Well 'I' got prepared. You can't just turn up for an internal scan without preparing. 

So we arrived and handed in our paperwork. We sat, we waited, and waited some more. We were called in and did the usual greeting thing with the consultant. Explained our situation, while the Dr. jotted down notes. He then took the husband into a separate room to have an examination. They were back moments later. It was a funny sort of atmosphere. A untold mutual agreement that after such examination they were to be completely silent. Awkward! 

Anyway, Dr. explained that husbands testicles were small-medium in size. That he could feel no blockage. He drew some diagrams of my husbands manly area. He wanted to do some blood tests to rule out certain problems. 

Test for chromosome disorders
Test for Cystic Fibrosis
Test Hormone levels

He explained the FSH levels. We already knew that his FSH levels were elevated, but couldn't remember at the time what they were. Dr. explained that the normal levels are around 4. Anything over 12 is a cause for concern, but high probability that sperm could be extracted. 25+ was bad. He explained that anything over 25, and there is not much point in trying to find any sperm to extract. 

So, he arranged for the bloods, and referred me to the gynaecologist. I am still waiting to hear. Yes, that's right. No internal as yet. I was a little disappointed. I think I believed we would go to our appointment and come away nearly pregnant. Clearly not! 

So bloods were done. Almost painless. Although the drama he made when taking the plaster off would tell you otherwise! 

We were told that the chromosome tests take some time to come back. We were given our next appointment. April. Yes, that's right. APRIL. I have to keep myself busy until then. That's one way to wish the year away! 

On returning home, I dug out the letter from the Urologist. In April 2013, his FSH levels were 27. I believe these levels do not fluctuate. Therefore, the probability is, that we need to wait until April to be told we are doomed! But hey ho. 

Luckily, we were aware earlier this year that the chances of my hubby being able to conceive were extremely slim, and we have decided mutually that we will continue using a donor. I am aware that we may still be waiting this time next year. But I will remain positive and hope that I will have problems writing my New Year post next year because my bump will be in the way of my laptop... 

Husband, I need an IPad! 

And in the beginning....

So, I guess I should start by introducing myself...

Name: Me ... For reasons that will become clear.
Age: 24 
Gender: Female
Status: Married to 'Him'
Living: In the U.K
Number of Children: 0
Number of Pregnancies: 0
Number of pregnancy tests taken: In excess of....200? 
Number of Months Trying to Conceive: 38

A bit of background for you...  (actually, after reading it, it's not a bit...it's bloomin' loads!)

I met my husband in 2007, married him in 2011. In 2010 we decided to try for a baby. In 2008, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, so we knew it wouldn't be plain sailing. I was overweight (18st), my cycles were all over the place. I would be lucky if I saw them every couple of months. But, knowing very little about conception (they don't teach you about infertility in school!), and how it all actually works, I jumped on the 'Babycentre' bandwagon, became totally consumed and decided it would only be a few months.... 

Nothing happened. I cried, I stamped, I decided my life was totally rubbish.. I pee'd on hundreds of sticks, stuck my butt in the air on countless occasions, cycled upside down, and took my temperature every morning for months, chose several prams and had decided every item of clothing from 'George' for my baby's wardrobe(this happened monthly!)... I was probably a living nightmare! 

Over the following year, my weight dropped, probably to about 15/16 St. My cycles began to even out, and the terrible pains that I had suffered for years gradually eased. 

In March 2011 we went to the doctors and explained the usual...trying for over a year, nothing happening, please help us... they were pretty good, and arranged for a Sperm Analysis Test for him, before investigating further. 

So we go away, happy to be moving along. 1 week later, we are back for the results. We were calm as cucumbers, essentially we 'knew' it was my problem. 

So, when the young male doctor spluttered (bless him, think he was more nervous than us!) that my poor husband had no sperm at all, none, nothing, not even one swimming backwards, it was a complete shock. The test was repeated... results were the same... a referral was made to the urologist for further investigation. 

Urologist was seen, he examined him, told him he had small wotsits and high FSH levels at 27. He was officially diagnosed with 'Non-obstructive Azoospermia'. In simple definition... No sperm with no blockage. We were doomed! He told us that there was little point in being referred for further treatment, unless we decided on using Donor Sperm. (Hence my name being 'Me'. We have decided to proceed with Donor sperm if all else fails, and as this is a big decision, we have decided that only close family will be aware.) 

In April 2013, we asked our doctor to refer us to the fertility clinic. It was worth a shot. We had our first appointment in November. I will document this in a new blog entry... you are probably asleep now! 

I am now 11st6lb's. Obviously, we have just past Christmas, and after looking in my cupboard at the empty boxes of chocolate, I have realised that my excessive consumption may have put that reading up by a few stone! 

We are looking forward to the new year, in the hope that the stork will at least visit us with an extra line in 2014. I have decided that I would like to document my journey. Share it with others. Support others going through this wicked infertility journey.

Please join me on this journey, share your stories, comment on mine, use my blog as a community, and let's go catch this stork!!