As time goes on...

It has been a week since my last post and not much to report!

It is that time of month again when you wait in hope that a miracle has happened. However I am sad to report that I do not think it has..

Babies and Bellies are everywhere. It seem's everyone is telling me...''oh you know that person, she has had a baby!'' It takes all my strength not to tell them that I don't care! Which is probably mean, as I am a caring person, but I just don't want to hear it. I do not want my heart ripped out again and again when someone else gets the one thing I have longed for for years.

It was hubby's birthday on the weekend. We went away for a night which was lovely. It took my mind off of things. This will be the 4th birthday that I haven't bought him a dad card. He had one from the dog instead!

It is funny, the strange things that hurt. Like the birthday cards, the empty space under the Christmas tree, the baby aisle in the supermarket. All these things that remind you that you remain childless.

I am rambling. I have been fairly okay since the failed cycle but I am struggling right now. Everything is supposed to go back to normal, I am expected to get over it, people have stopped discussing it and asking if I am okay. I am not an attention seeking type of person and I don't want everyone to fall over trying to help me. However I have this irrational feeling that it shouldn't just be forgotten. Those were my embryo's, my potential babies. My first scan would have been this week. But it is all a past memory in everyone's minds.

Still, I guess time goes on..it has too. We cannot give up. We need to pull our PMA (positive mental attitude) pants up and live life. It will happen, and when it does, I will not let a single person let me take any of it for granted.

xxxx